blogging

My desire to blog is very frequent.  My original blog was started at a time when I had just entered one of the first phases of recovery. I was wrapped up in other’s blog from treatment and those I didn’t know.  Now, I just don’t have the need to blog as frequent or have to read everyone else’s blog.  I am not sure, I am exhausted when I am done work and spending my leisure time..I know pretty lame…but what the heck. I don’t think I am as interested anymore in all the throws of the recovery in the beginning.  Things are well, I am not headed back and life is moving forward.  Of course, I will always advocate and try to be active in issues around eds but part of me is ready to say goodbye this world in a lot of ways.   Shut the door completely, not with a crack.

A new yummy treat

I have discoverd Starbucks White Chocolate, no foam, no whipcream.  Oh my, delicious and my first hot chocolate of the winter – oh, the artic winter here in Boston.  Ouch.  I looked online and it said the first day of spring is March 20, I refuse to do a countdown becuase it’s so far away.   Oh, life in the new year is good.  My biggest stressor is work; I just don’t know what to do.  Anyway, life is good.  Not too much blogging going on lately sorry.

Work Trauma

Yes, work was traumitizing on Friday. I was so upset.  My boss was totally stressed.  BUt hopefully I am getting over it and will enjoy seeing Jason tonight.   HOpefully no stark tek or stargates shows are on.  We can always watch our shows, the shows we agree on:  1. Family Feud with the host from Home Improvement 2.  That 70’s shows.

Besides work, not too much is going on.  Life is steady.  Things going well!

Back at home…

Yes, I am back in Somerville, Massachusetts after being gone for about 2 weeks.  Florida with my family, Michigan with the boyfriends.  I survived both trips well!  This has been the best holiday season for me in a long time, it was nice being around family and celebrating with them.  Michigan was snowy but lovely.  It was light snow the kind that doesn’t pack.  The scenes were beautiful and spending time with the boyfriend was good.

Now, I am back and here Sunday morning trying to accomplish a lot of things today but I am being sucked into Sunday morning crappy tv.  I am ready for a nap.  My goal for today find a basket that fits under my favorite (Pier 1 dresser), which means I need to measure so I dont come home with one that is too high or too wide.  Oh, tape measure where are you. 

For 2009, what I want to accomplish:  decrease diet soda to only have when out to eat.  eat healthier, learn how to cook more ( I am eyeing up a knife skills class but first need to come up to the money), and deepen my relationships.

Today is the first day of Weight Watchers (I have nutrionist and dr’s approval) as long as I am being healthy and only for a certain number BMI.  I also know I need to move more…so this tv and computer stuff ah might have to put on the side.

Phase 1: Complete

Post-Christmas Wrap Up -Florida

 

My travels still have me in Florida having a side kick of my 9 year old niece entertaining me and keeping me Busy.   This is most likely my best trip home in years dealing with everything but still trying.  Food abdunant and a mood which is moving downward is making me grateful I leave tomorrow for Michigan to be with the boyfriend and his family for New Years.  Yes, I joined Weight Watchers hoping it would deter me from over indulging and in an effort to lose some weight in the new year.  I have this horrible notion, that I will go to my class reunion and everyone will look at me and my double digit size and be like oh, really did she have an eating disorder. I just want to feel better, more energy, clothes not so tight….and security in my relationships (that really doesn’t go there). 

 

I will be landing in Michigan tomorrow….

I am about to leave (in less than 24 hours) and I have been on the phone with the airlines for 33 minutes now (on hold).  My seating arrangement is not showing up for all of my flights and I clearly made them as like most I have my preference, aisle seat in front of the plane.  I am off to Florida for a week and then up to Michigan for about 4/5 day and then the boyfriend and I will drive back from Michigan.  This is the longest amount of time that I will be leaving the kids, Munchkin and Buff, at home by themselves.  They will get daily visits from a petsitter, Munchkin needs her medicines, and my neighbor will be intermittently checking in on them for extra loving.  Believe it or not, they get mad at me when I am gone. 

 

I am ready to not be at work for close to two weeks.  I will need all the strength and courage for when I come back to face this job.  I am though looking forward to the holidays this year, may you and yours have a wonderful one.

Awkward Ladies Room Interaction

 

At work, our ladies restroom is a decent size.  There are three stalls and three sinks and a paper towel holder.  I work in a “green building” per say, it’s a Harvard University but we are not associated with them.  Anyhow, being a green building, we have a low-flush toilets in the restroom.  And on the inside of the stall, someone took time to type up a note about using the low flush toilets because  you see if you use more then 2 or 3 sheets of TP then the toilet doesn’t work properly and it results in the bathroom being flooded because no one wants to use the plunger.  We received an insulting and angry email from our CFO about this, that we should be using the plunger even if we did not clog the toilet.  A few women her were steaming.   So, if you have a low flush toilet you should divide your toilet paper into 2 or 3 flushes, and supposedly you are still saving water.  I think we should invest in the toilets like LLBEan has something like up for solids, down for fluids. 

 

Anyway, my point of this post was the awkwardness of being in the bathroom with your co-worker. Please note: it might not be so awkard if we have a hand dryer that was loud. 

Example:  I walk in someone is washing their hands, I might say something like, “glad your trip to Kenya was good”.  Then I proceed in the stall, while in the stall doing what I have to do, they continue to talk to me about their trip in DETAIL.  Until they are ready to walk out or they notice the awkwardness.  We can reverse this situation where the person in the stall continues to talk to me who might be washing my hands to get the heck out of there.  Maybe if they weren’t my co-workers…

9 months

Today is the boy and our 9 months together date.  Wow!  He is in Greenland work for and I sit here contemplating bed or actually doing work.   9 months, hmmm.  Can’t wait to he is back on Friday night!

Anyway, the holiday season is stressful for me.  I am not sure why, I am not with my family yet, but I think some of it is work related.  I just don’t know what to do with my life.  Master’s degree and all.  I work in an office, with people who are dysfunctional as a group and I get more and more aggravated everyday.  I just keep quiet, mainly because I am not management I just sit in on their meetings. 

Uggghhhhhh, just feeling like I don’t fit in, which I was writing my friend Dawn, is the story of my life.  Occupations I should have went to school for, to be a nurse practioner, teacher, therapist, social worker.  Why didn’t anyone including my parents guide me?  Ah, if I could do it again….I can’t do it now because of money and i feel it’s awfully late…..no going back to school again.

Weird commerical of the day:  A jewish prostate checking message to make sure and I quote ” to make sure you have a kosher prostate”.

More time has passed since I have been here blogging. Ah, the holidays are near – how fun!  I am excited by the holidays this year, going home to see family mostly my niece and teenage nephew and some home cooked food from various family members.  Then I am going to meet up with the boyfriend in Michigan and spend the 29^th through the 3^rd there.

 

I have to say I am grumpy today.  Although, there is excitement about the holidays, there is pressure, especially around my family.  A friend whom I haven’t hung out with in a year or longer, just got engaged.  They are cute.  Why does this bother me?  It’s all me and where my relationship is at.  It’s about me being 32 and not there.  32 and I feel like I am really far from that.  Blah

oh the mood

So, I’ve noticed my mood has dropped this week.  I am hoping it’s nothing more then stress related.  Work is crazy, I think I mentioned the wall of art, the Human Rights Wall of Art, I was supposed to do my project this weekend but never got around to it.  My boss when around is demanding and an extreme sacrastic person, he has a geniune heart but the position can be very frustrating. 

I had a relaxing weekend – I even ventured to the mall in hopes of finding the perfect outfit for New Years Eve.  I am flying down to Florida to see my family on the 23rd then flying up to be with the boyfriend and his family on the 29th and we are driving back over two days on the 3rd and 4th.   But I just can’t seem to find the outfit I had envisioned, or I find it and it doesn’t look right on me.  Oh well, I left the mall with nothing in hand. I had saved up for this outfit and went into the nicest of stores and nothing. I then went over to Target and found 2 sweaters that were cute for $20.  Sweet.

I also watched back to back episodes of Top Chef this weekend. It was my first time watching it and I loved it.  I am not good at planning on watching a show every week. I do watch Grey’s and stuff, but if you miss it you can go to ABC.com and watch the full episode.  My favorite for Top Chef New York is Karla.  She is just a nice person, or is always routing for everyone and encourages people. 

Tonight, I went over my neighbor who lives right across the hall and she has gone Vegan after reading the book Skinny Bitch.  So, I had a vegan cassarole, 1/2 bagel with vegan spread, and a so delicious ice cream sandwhich.  She also gave me the book to read.  I have read reviews from the ed community about this book, and how it promotes x,y, and z.  I don’t think I will become a vegan, although it is a good concept, I like my dairy oh so much. Seriously, I could be in love with my Lactaid milk and yummy cheeses.  The book does reitereate how unhealthy soda is especially diet with the spelnda  which I can kick the good ole diet soda happen yet although I drink caffeine free soda. 

I guess I can try to make a resolution to kick the habit.  I am still hestitating about reading the book.  Maybe after I am done wtih my young adult book “If I have a wicked stepmother where’s my prince” yes it was on the counter when I was checking out at the library and thought ah, an easy ready!  Yes, it is indeed!

Nothing to mind blowing here…now I am off to read.