I sit here tonight half watching the movie “The Princess Diaries”, reading a book, and staying up a little later then I should. The book I am reading, Regarding Your Self, is about losing the eating disorder identity. The say that when you have an eating disorder, one denies all their needs. I have been thinking about how I might be currently denying my needs. Melissa, thinks that I am denying my needs now. Me as an individual not my eating disorder identity. All this psycho babbling and reading into my life sometimes feels enough. Is there always a right and a wrong?
I rather wait around tonight and wish I was some princess waiting for my grandmother to come have me lead a country like in the princess diaries. I could get my hair done, have a swell wardrobe, and solve some problems. Why do I also need to be looking inward, time and time again and having Melissa do so also. I pay Melissa for this and love her to death and know this is part of what I have to do still. At times, though I hate it when what she thinks or suggests is right. She is on the bulls eye.
I am just hoping to find another part time job asap, so I can continue my sessions with her so at least I am meeting my financial needs.
